My Mother Taught Me
by Tenshi Chupip
Summary: A small look at the lessons and morals Molly tried to instill in her children over the years and how all of it went in one ear and out the other.
1. Chapter 1

**~My Mother Taught Me: TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE~**

"YOU!"

Before Fred had time to react, the red haired boy found himself and the chair he was sitting in flipped over as his older brother tackled them both to the ground.

"GIVE IT BACK!" Percy shrieked. He looked down right mad with his glasses lopsided, hair akimbo and a furious gleam in his eye.

"Give what back?" Fred asked, trying to shove Percy off his chest.

"My Head Boy badge!" Percy shouted, grabbing the front of Fred's robe. "You've done something with it! I want it back!"

Fred tried to answer but Percy wasn't giving him the air to do so. Fred rammed his elbow into Percy's chest, causing him to yelp in pain and let go. Fred used this opportunity to hop up and tackle Percy back. He wrestled his older brother to the ground and grabbed Percy's arms to pin them above his head.

"I didn't take your stupid badge!" he shouted back.

"LIAR!" Percy was able to get out of the hold and threw himself back on top to pin Fred beneath him. They wrestled some more, knocking over a stack of books in the process. They must have been making quite the commotion because suddenly…

"WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME ARE YOU TWO DOING!"

Fred and Percy looked over to see their mother standing in the door way of the sitting room with her mouth hung open and her face turning red with anger.

"Mother!" Percy exclaimed, with his arm looped around Fred's neck in a choke hold. "He took my badge and won't give it back!"

"I don't care if he left it in a devil's snare nest just look at my living room!" Molly stormed over and grabbed both boys by the ear.

"Ow! Mum, get off, I didn't actually do anything this time!" Fred whined as she dragged them towards the front door.

"He's lying, Mother!" Percy retorted.

"I am not!"

"I don't care!" she thundered.

"But, Mother!"

"Don't you start with me, Percival Weasley! _I just cleaned in there so if you're going to kill each other you'll do it outside!_" Molly kicked open the door and pushed the two squabbling boys outside.

"But, Mother!" Percy stuttered.

"I work hard to keep this house in shape and I'll not have the two of you mucking it up!" she shouted, before slamming the door shut behind them.

Percy and Fred stared at the door for a moment in shock.

"Did she just lock that door?" Percy asked.

"I think so," Fred replied.

"Mother has never been cross with me before, this is entirely your fault!" Percy tackled Fred back to the ground.

From high above, Ron and Ginny were leaning out Ron's window watching their two battling brothers, both grinning.

"Percy looks like he might actually hurt Fred this time," Ron said.

"Well if they kill each other it isn't like we haven't got three more brothers to replace them," Ginny replied as she turned the golden badge over in her hand.

"You think we should let them know it was us?"

"After the summer those two have put us through? No way."

"Yeah, me neither."

**TBC**

**A/N: Someone sent me a joke email the other day titled "Things My Mother Taught Me" and the whole time I was reading it all I could think about was Molly Weasley and the things she must have said over the years to her children. I am sure many of them were similar to the ones on this list so I just have to write them down. Keep a look out for more! Also R&R!**

**~Chupip**


	2. Chapter 2

**~My mother taught me: FORESIGHT~  
><strong>

Ginny lounged on her bed looking over the Quidditch play book in her hand. It was only a few weeks ago that Harry and the twins had been banished from the team and Ginny was struggling a bit with the guilt of being chosen to replace him as the new Gryffindor Seeker. She was worried that Harry would be angry with her for taking his spot, but as usual he was the picture of a perfect gentleman about it. Ginny promptly ignored the familiar flare in her chest that still happened when ever she thought too long on any subject regarding Harry Potter. She pushed the frustrating thoughts to the back of her brain and went back to concentrating on the play book

Even though she actually would have preferred being a Chaser, Ginny wanted to do everything possible to be the best seeker she could be. Hoping to help the team rather than hinder it, she had asked Angelina to give her a copy of the play book to study over the holiday. The captain came through and passed her one just before they boarded the train yesterday for the Christmas holiday.

Ginny sighed and put the book down, wishing that she could memorize the plays while she curled up down stairs in the library next to the roaring fireplace. Grimmauld Place must of been jinxed for it to constantly be this cold. Her guilt however wouldn't let her seek the comfort of the fire down stair, for fear of being caught by Harry or the twins memorizing plays they were suppose to have been learning instead. Damn that vile toad! How dare she kick Harry and her brothers off the team!

A soft knock on her door pulled Ginny away from her pleasant day dream of hexing the day lights out of Umbridge.

"Come in," she said.

A moment later the door opened and her mother entered the bed room holding a tray with two steaming mugs and a plate of cookies.

"Thought you could use a snack, Dear," Molly said with a soft smile to her youngest child as she set the tray down on the bed.

"Thanks, Mum," Ginny smiled back, setting down the book and accepting a mug filled to the brim with steaming hot chocolate. She took a careful sip and sighed with contented happiness as the warm liquid instantly warmed her up. "That really hits the spot, Mum. Thank you."

"My pleasure, Darling," she said, and sipped away at her own mug. The mother and daughter duo sat in companionable silence for a few moments before Molly set her mug aside and looked her daughter straight in the eye with an odd expression on her face.

"Something wrong, Mum?" Ginny asked, hoping not.

"Ginny, you're my only daughter, and while I am very proud of you for it, I won't pretend it does not terrify me you being the team's new seeker," her mother said.

"Mum, we've already talked about this," Ginny sighed in exasperation. "I'm in no more danger than Fred and George were, and Angelina wouldn't have chosen me if she hadn't thought I could handle it."

"I know, but it's just such a violent game and you're my only little girl and I just couldn't bear it if something happened to you," Molly started to tear up a bit. She sniffed and wiped her nose on her sleeve before reaching into her robes and pulling out a wrapped package. "However, I am not foolish enough to think that even if I did forbid you from accepting the position that you wouldn't just do it anyway."

Ginny chuckled, not actually admitting out loud that her mother was completely correct.

"So, that being said, I got you something," Molly said handing over the package. "Just in case something ever does happen."

Ginny eyed the package for a moment before tearing off the paper curiously. With the wrapping removed, Ginny held up one of the package's contents. Unfolding the piece of fabric in her hand, Ginny's face suddenly turned the same color as her hair. She stared at it in shock and slightly horror for a few moments before she was finally able to speak.

"Uh…Mum…" she finally managed to choke out. "H… how are these suppose to keep me safe on the filed exactly?"

"Oh they're not supposed to keep you safe, Ginny dear," Molly chuckled. "They're for just in case you're injured."

"Come again?"

"_You always want to be wearing clean knickers, just in case you're in an accident_," she said. "You never know who might be taking care of you if you get hurt and you don't want them to think you have poor hygiene now do you?"

All Ginny could do was absentmindedly nod as she lay the pair of neon purple granny knickers covered in little golden hearts back in the package wrapping. She looked up at her mother's face and forced a very awkward smile.

"They're great, Mum," Ginny said. "Always wanted a pair of purple knickers…"

"And look I've got you a different pair for each of your remaining games. I got some rather fun looking ones so you wouldn't forget to wear them. I loved the pink ones there so much I bought a pair for my self. Wearing them right now actually..."

Ginny visibly twitched.

"They're very comfortable. Just what you need if you're going to be stuck up on that broom for hours."

"That's... brilliant, Mum…thanks…"

Molly pulled her daughter into a bone crushing hug before she hopped up off the bed.

"Well I have to go start dinner," she smiled as she started to close the door behind her. "So glad you like them, Dear!"

Ginny kept up her forced smile up until she heard the door click and her mother's footsteps disappear down the hall. Only then did she jump up off her bed and frantically start emptying her trunk. She didn't dare try to getting rid of them here, she couldn't stand to hurt her mother's feelings like that… but there was no way she was going to wear those hideous granny style knickers. Not even if Voldemort him self tortured her.

If she took them to Hogwarts she could burn them in the common area's fire place in the middle of the night, claim they got lost in the laundry and no one would be the wiser. All she had to do was bury them deep, deep, _DEEP_ inside her trunk so no one would find them until then. She just had to hide them before…

"Hey, Gin!" Ron said as he threw open the door with Harry following right behind.

Ginny nearly screamed in horror. She panicked and prayed she'd have just enough time to throw herself on top of the knickers before Ron or, Merlin forbid, Harry saw them. As it were, luck was not on her side right then.

"Mum says she wants you down in the kitchen to help with… what are those?"

As Ron held up one of the brightly colored monstrosities for him and Harry to get a better look at, Ginny wondered if there was something with in reach that she could quickly murder herself with. Once again, luck was not on her side. The embarrassment of the situations would just have to act as her executioner instead.

**TBC**

**A/N: Ahh the embarrassing gift moments. If you have a mother, and or a brother, you have probably had a moment like this… I know I have. R&R, my dears! They make me happy!**

**~Chupip**


	3. Chapter 3

**~My mother taught me: RELIGION~**

"This is all your fault," Bill snapped, as he scrubbed away at the rug.

"How is it my fault?" Charlie hissed back, scrubbing just as hard.

"If you hadn't of made me knock over my plate this wouldn't have happened!"

"And if you weren't such a sodding arse I wouldn't have thrown that book at your head!"

"If Mum finds out what we spilled blueberry pie filling all over her brand new rug she'll go mental," Bill said. "So just shut it and keep scrubbing."

Charlie snorted rudely at his older brother but did as he was told. If this had just happened next week Bill would have been old enough to spell the stupid stain away. But as it were neither of them was old enough to use magic, nor were they willing to risk getting in to the kind of trouble that would come with using it while underage. They just had to get the stain out before she, the twins and little Ginny got home. Ron and Percy were home currently but both were somewhere playing chess, blissfully unaware of their older brothers' blunder. They should have enough time, Mum was usually gone for hours when she went shopping.

The sudden loud roaring of flames coming from the fire place made both the boys freeze in fear as their mother, brothers and sister came back through the floo. Molly was holding Ginny's hand trying to console her while the youngest Weasley cried. The eight year old twins behind her were both trying to cheer her up as well.

At the sound of their baby sister's sobs Charlie and Bill forgot all about the stain and rushed over to find out what was wrong.

"It was that horrible Malfoy boy again," their mother said hotly at her sons curious looks.

"H-he sa-said that m-m-my hair was ugly!" Ginny cried. "I worked r-r-really h-hard to make it p-pretty today!"

"Your hair looks beautiful, Gin, don't let that little prat tell you other wise," Bill said, bending down to hug his little sister. "You did a wonderful job with your pigtails."

"P-promise?" she sniffed.

"Promise."

"See, Ginny," Molly smiled kindly at her daughter. "I told you so. Now why don't we go into the kitchen and mummy will get you a- WHAT IN GREAT MERLIN'S NAME!"

Bill and Charlie suddenly gulped. Their mother hurried over to the rug and stared at the giant blue stain in horror. A slow dark red crept up her neck till it finally reached her cheeks. Furious, she rounded on her oldest sons'.

"What happened to my new carpet!" she demanded.

"Uh well see…"

"Bill got into the pie you told us not to touch till dinner and spilled it on the rug, Mum!" Charlie exclaimed, trying to get his side of the story out before Bill did.

"I only spilled it because Charlie threw a book at me!"

"I only threw the book at him because he said I couldn't find a golden snitch if it came up and snogged me!"

"ENOUGH!" Molly bellowed, rendering the two boys utterly silent. "I am going to take your sister into the kitchen and get her a biscuit and some milk to calm her down. You two are going to stay in here and scrub at that stain until it comes out. All night if you have to."

"But what if it doesn't come out?" Charlie asked weakly.

"Yeah, we've been scrubbing at it for half an hour now!" Bill exclaimed.

"_Then I suggest you had better start praying that it does_, William," his mum said in a deadly low voice. "Because I doubt very much that you will enjoy what I will do to you both if it does not."

Bill and Charlie gulped again before flying back to the carpet and resuming their frantic scrubbing. They didn't even stop to tell the twins, both of whom were gleefully giggling at them, to sod off. The snickering twins didn't care in the least. It was refreshing to see someone other than themselves in trouble for a change.

**TBC**

**A/N: I spilled grape juice on my mom's new beige carpet once… I still have nightmares about that… R&R!**

**~Chupip**


End file.
